Bais and I were gardening at that time.
Ibu too; she left soon after and went inside. Dah maghrib ni, I thought.
"Akak ..." he called me after a while, almost like a whisper to my ears.
"Ape perasaan akak masa akak fail paper kat Melbourne hari tu?"
I paused. Weird, I thought, for him to ask personal question like that.
Perasaan.
It's not like him to know what or how I feel, I can assure you that. Hehe.
So I didn't know if I should give a personal answer or make a joke out of it.
Tangan still cabut rumput, I waited for his giggle at the end of his question.
And because we were not facing each other, I tried to sense his smile or even a smirk when he asked.
But nothing was there.
So I went with my first instinct. I told him things I'd never said before.
And I knew why he wanted to know this. I understood why he asked.
And I was talking, it felt like a part of me is being exposed.
Cliche, I thought. Of course it would feel that way. So I kept on explaining.
Then, I could feel something that I'd never felt before.
I felt nervous talking to him. He was quiet, though. I couldn't see him, but I could hear his hands had slowed down. There were less movement. He was into his own thoughts, taking my words one by one, digesting them.
You can imagine me stuttering, too cautious with my words. I had never talked to him like this before. He had never paid attention like this before.
But deep down, I was sincere. Allah has given me back my long 'lost' brother, and I truly appreciate the new him.
and how I love him even more.
and how I love him even more.
