i'll be watching Jan 7 pass by, just like that.

if it wasn't for the money i couldn't afford,

if it wasn't for the production i'm involved in,

if it wasn't for the classes i have,

i would have the chance to see u rite before my eyes

and listen to u with my flappy ears

and join the crowd who likes your songs whole-heartedly.

*tsk*
regards to Ne-Yo

*sobsob*

as i was having my shower this morning, i was thinking. and i thought..

.u are being ridiculously difficult.




aaaaa!!!!!!!!








*tarik2 rambut*

Juara oh Juara

there was a tweet i read randomly. it said

"#itslove when his fav movie becomes you fav movie. when his fav food becomes your fav food. when his fav music becomes you fa music etc =-)"

from HandsomeAngel_T

nasi ayam lemon da mkn. check.

transformers da tgk. check.




aaahhhhhhhh~

\(>.<)/

how can i like Juara??



*saket pale*

this is not the kinda vampire i've always imagined

when i say take care,
i mean take care~

i really do.


dear,
i cannot even breathe seeing ur sore red eyes.
what kind of partner am i?
i feel like i've failed taking care of u.


sobs~

sian cinta-hati sy. dia x sehat.

dear love,

u knw u gave me a heart attack about the false-alarm dengue. mujur i x scream dalam meeting aritu

diabetes?? mane plk datang tu.. ish, tanak la main2..
(eh. now ape cite diabetes ek?)

now, i still couldnt bear myself seeing ur pale eyes every nite. touching ur extremely hot hands, ur forehead when u say u feel extremely cold.. pls dont do this to me..
maybe u need jalan2 ke.. u knw, get sweaty n stuff. haha. sebenarnya mcm nak ajak kuar dating

as much as i am easily exposed to demam and batuk and selsema, i can see u are fragile too. so pls take really good care of urself.. minum air okay. jgn degil~


i thanked God ur parents are here.
i know u wouldnt let me drive u to klinik or pk.

ps: ubat batuk itu sedap. makan la

"have u ever had shoes without shoe strings?"

silently i replied
yea i have. in fact i'm still wearing them.




sigh
it's not comfortable, ya know.
try experiencing it urself.

it's 2am, and i'm here babbling.

maybe u still hv the heart for that person. maybe thats y u always keep things to urself rather than expressing them to me. if that is the reason, i now know where i stand. if it is that place i am put to, i will take it. no more tears shed, no more clinging for love. i dont want to see u in anger. thus i'll gv u what i feel about u and i do not expect the same in return, insya allah.

i love u. n i've been missing u badly.
raya haji with family, thoughts linger on u.
i prevented myself from texting u and calling u.
because i didnt want to make u angry.
i want a beautiful relationship.
a blossomed relationship.

somebody, pls keep me from falling~

a lot of things need to be learnt before being a mother

one of them is when i was in this situation.


i was in my cousin's car
on the way back to shah alam
from bukit jelutong.

i chit chatted with her 5-year-old daughter
who is not fluent in Malay
coz kak elin (the cousin) speaks English with her
and with her other 2 children.

then jasmine (the daughter) came up to kak elin
from the back of the seat and asked:
"mummy, why does she know my name?"
i shut myself up.
bad of me for not visiting my cousins often enough,
i said to myself.
their children don't even know me.

random answers were playing in my head.
'jasmine, she's my cousin'
or 'she's ur aunt'
or something like that.

her reply was:
"of course she knows u." she smiled.
"u're my daughter".


much to my surprise, i like that answer.
i really like that answer.
do u know why?
it creates a beautiful bond between a mother and a daughter
and i really like that.

Sue Jasmine and Sue Alina
*jasmine and kak elin*

and yes,
this is the jasmine
who was happy to see her new brother and said
"mummy, jadir's got a tail~" to kak elin.
oh so cute ^_^

dan ingatlah bhw memecah-belahkan sesama kita amat dibenci Tuhan.

sy keluar makan td.
baru tadi.


dan sy menerima panggilan dari dia.
dia yg disayangi semua.
dia yg lovable.


td dia sgt marah

lalu berceritalah dia...

sungguh sy xterkata apa2.
betapa bodoh itu orang.
betapa kejam itu orang.
naseb baek sy x tau sape itu orang.
maunye sy tembak hidup2.
wtf hidup kalo myusahkan orang lain.

sungguh sy terkejut mendengarkan khabar itu.
dan sy harap kamu sabar.
sy rasa, dia yg cantik itu marah
sbb kata2 yg dilemparkan oleh orang kutuk itu.
lalu tempiasnya kena pada kamu..

sy rasa, kamu kna explain kat dia yg cantik itu baik2.
sy tau dia xmau dgr; gv her tym..

ei
kalo aku dpt tau sape ko
mmg beratus kali aku tikam ko.
aku da x kesah ko kwn aku ke x.

like // Jeng

Ben - Michael Jackson

and u say that i am miserable? thanx.

just bcuz u heard things from him
doesnt mean that those things are from me.

u dont even talk to me, fyi.


and dear u,
u let ppl say things abt me??

THANX
i just tot i could rely on u

bila kita nk kuar dating?

i mish u

bila disoal kawan-kawan

apa yg saya akan ubah ttg dia..


terfikir sebentar,
kadang2
ada yg saya x bekenan ttg dia.
kata2 carut dia..
marah dia..
sinis dia..

tp sy x terdaya nk nyatakan
sy pun slalu telepas cakap..
marah sy pun slalu x betempat..

dan sy nampak
betapa dia berusaha utk melawan perasaan itu.
perasaan marah yg berkocak hebat dihatinya.
perasaan yg mungkin sakiti sy
jika diluah dgn kata-kata.

mungkin sy senang dgn cara dia menerima sy..
nothing more is important.



'xde pape pun yg aku nk ubah' itu yg diluah..

*sbb sy sayang awk*

oh, if there IS anything far more important,
i'll let u know later.
just in case..
;-)

yes world!! i have sweaty palms.

ive been trying to hide it.
ive been trying not to talk about it.
cuz i know it will bother u.

and ive been avoiding myself not to hold u directly!


still,

as much as u dont like it, me neither!!

as much as u hate it, i hate it twice as much!!


but what do i get? a sarcastic??

THANX

and my blog turns one

...yesterday

\(^.^)/

sorry blog, i forgot..
it was supposedly be on sept 2nd..



lets see..

yesterday, i went archery with haziq while being watched by bad and aza before canoeing with them late in the evening. and i realize that both activities really need the ultimate strength in the arms~

still, the day was great. i aimed a specific target before shooting but the arrows ended up sticking to other places, and none of them reached the target. hahaha.. and i didnt realize how big the lake could be bila ada atas air. i felt so small, and the people tepi2 tasek pon barely nampak. hehe

ke my eyes yg da x betul??



anyways dear blog, i had a great tym and to u,
have a happy 1st anniversary ^_^

think about me as well

jangan fikir diri sendiri.


skrg, tiada lagi langkah pertama dari saya. saya da penat nangis sbb tiada respon baik yg saya dapat..
sungguh kebudak2kan. tp saya ada hati nak dijaga.

saya akan ikut rentak awak.

awak senyum, saya senyum.
kalo awak bertanya, saya jawab.
awak tegur, saya balas.
kalo awak suka, saya suka.

berkatalah manis2 pada saya, dan saya akan balas kata2 yg sama.

how it started...

skrg pukul 4.58am.
terjaga dari tdo
selepas mengantuk yg teramat tym kelas sir sharif
and after a long walk around metrojaya's warehouse sale with girlfriends, hehe

he wouldnt like going to such places.
noisy, packed and crowded, hours of time spent boringly coz i'll be looking at brg pompuan je dlm tuh, hehe

hm..
the boy.
lets get mushy2 tonite eiyh.
reflecting back the proposal.
the spark.
and how it started..
*gile xmalu ngada2!!!!


the name is haziq.
a friend introduced us, u know.
kebetulan the friend ada hal dgn dia
and kebetulan i have matters regarding the friend.
that was during part 2.
kot.

ok.
so the 1st meeting wasnt as cheeky and romantic
as how cinderella met her prince at the ball.
it was business talk since that day
and along the way.
lagipun i was sumeone else's girl.

he never flirted.
neither did i.
then how could possibly two ppl
who are friends
become lovers?
ntah la..

just one fine evening during the holidays,
a text appeared on my phone.
yes, it was may 10th.
'Hajar, ko single lagi?'
hehe, me n my sister giggled.
ofkos la single.. buat2 tanye plk~
'sy single mingle' i replied.
then he said he consulted his friend regarding me.
and was ready to take me
as a part of his life.

ya ampun, ye ke?
igtkn dia ada kwn nak di-introduce kat kte!
siap consult kwn lg?? mmg teketar tangan tym pegang phone.
'ala akak, amik jela~' my sister cucuk.
amboi senangnye ckp cik adek~
y me? sy x cantek!
'ko nmpk cute bile ko blur' dia kata.
=.=" jwpn ape tuh..
byk ragu2. boleh ke kita bercinta?
kita kn kawan..
'then we know how to have fun' he said.
eh eh.. ade je jwb dia~

then it all bloomed
mcm org bercienta slps kawen, haha
sorry2.
didnt mean to be perv.
the rest, u've seen them for urselves.

so, if your friends ask you
nape x pnh nampak kami bercintan sebelum ni,
*gile mimik pn hamidah. haha, sorry2*
tell it to your friends
it happens after the proposal.
never before.
not even during pikuniku, hehe

ok, ini xde kaitan ngn cite the proposal.

never say never

The Fray

Some things we don't talk about,
Rather do without,
Just hold a smile.
Falling in and out of love,
Ashamed and proud of,
Together all the while.

You can never say never,
While we don't know it,
Time and time again.
Younger now than we were before.
Don't let me go [6x]

Picture,
You're the Queen of everything,
Far as the eye can see,
Under your command.
I will be your guardian,
When all is crumbling,
Steady your hand.

You can never say never,
While we don't know it,
Time, time, and time again.
Younger now than we were before.
Don't let me go [6x]

We're falling apart,
And coming together again and again.
We're crawling apart,
But we fall in together,
Pulling together, together again.
Ooohhh Ahhhhh

Don't let me go [12x]

1st tym dgr kat dlm kete
from fac nk balik umah smlm.
then nmpk ym razin mendengarkan lagu ni
b4 i went to class ptg td.

sah.
i tekad nk carik lagu ni.

igt lagi pada cuti sy yang byk renungan?

segala gundah gulana yg sy alami
telah terlerai.
benar.
sy boleh menarik nafas lega.

sebab mereka. sebab dia.
sebab cerita yang dibuka.

dan kini
sy boleh menerima
seluruhnya.
perfect.
dalam dan luar.

benar.
tuhan maha mendengar.
dia melancarkan
dan permudahkan apa berselirat di hati.
dan sy bersyukur.

ya allah, ampuni aku kerana meragui.
cuma aku x yakin, kerana aku benar2 x nampak
hala ini.
aku berterima kasih, ya allah.
ampuni aku

permata~

datin rosmah mansor kata
ada pepatah pujangga yg menyatakan;

"kalau nak sara diri utk sehari
tanamlah jagung.
kalau nak sara diri utk bertahun2
tanamlah pokok.
kalau nak sara diri utk spanjang idup
bela lah anak2.."

tanda tanya:
mengapakah jagung yg digunakan?
stoberi lebih cantik. ia merah.
tembikai pun sedap. manis.
rambutan..

dan mengapakah anak2 di-compare dgn tanaman?
mcm xboleh je. anak2 x disiram atau dibaja.
anak2 dibelai dan dimanja.
ahaks

tp sy buat2 paham. sebenarnya
saya suka menghadiri majlis konvo rosmah tadi.
saya senang mendengarkan ucapan dia td.
sy xguna earphone pun tym speech dia
atau tym abu shah's
atau mizan's yg ensem oh-jatu-cienta
wpun saya bawak
dan dah bwk kuar dari beg dah.
^_^

dan di dalam speech rosmah tadi
ade sikit sebanyak campur aduk melayu dan english.
cth: "..di peringkat local dan seterusnya ke peringkat international.."
eh?
*boleh eh?
ade agong kot kat sebelah tu~
kalo stakat satu phrase in english

rasanya xpe kot.
ini sebijik je..
aih~

tym dinner sem lepas ktorg kna kutuk
sbb hal campur2 bahasa nih.
got me thinking there.

tp sbb dia rosmah.
siapalah saya utk bangkang. hehe
dan saya suka dia jeling manja kat suami dia ^_^

oh,
speech dia td tidak bertulis,
kalo compare dgn abu shah's or mizan's oh-so-ensem-aih.
hebat kan dia berucap

*cuti yang banyak renungan*

banyak yang perlu dibaiki
banyak yang perlu ditelek.
jangan kata ini perfect.
ini semua ilusi.



saya xyakin sebenarnya.
sbb saya xnampak hujung pangkal cerita ini.
memburukkan keadaan, saya xnampak perjalanan cerita ini.



kalau ikutkan,

kau, aku,

kita

xkan nmpk hujung pangkal
yang mmg belum tiba.




ibu kata that is the beauty of islam.
kita ada usaha dan tawakal.
sbb tu,
kita boleh berserah setelah kita mencuba.

.................................................................

ya allah, jodoh pertemuan
semua di tangan-Mu.

lancarkanlah. permudahkanlah.
amin.
^_^

uitm akan cuti 1 minggu.

just in time!!!!
\(^.^)/
dan saye la org paling gembira mendengar berita ini

*sniff sniff*

saye dpt merehatkan diri di rumah
dan memberi layanan 5 bintang kepada selsema, batuk dan panas badan ini. woot woot~





hahaha

bunyi nye sgt selfish








still,
it was quite shocking to know bout this


cuti start saturday
aka semalam


notice kuar jumaat
aka sehari sblm start cuti



=.=
bodo nye




kite kesian kat org yg da beli tiket awal2 ke kelantan, kedah dan yg seangkatan
utk cuti pertengahan sem sbb takut abis

sian kat org yg dok sabah sarawak sbb xdpt book flight.
pasni xde dah cuti




sigh..




rasa cm nak ajak sume org balik seremban
yg letaknya cuma 1 jam dari shah alam

at least rasa homey skit. hehe







pasni, byk bende akan postpone

cuti raya akan pendek

dan segala plan akan berterabur



aih~

sekarang jam 5:25pagi

dan saya masih belum tidur.

:: hampir menyiapkan 'the cool web' review
yang sepatutnya dihantar jumaat lepas

:: idea 'shape-y poem' hampir tiba
dan masih menunggu mood untuk di-sketch

:: dia suda idle 2 jam 26min. pasti da tidur

:: masih tertanya2 mengapa masih belum tidur
sedangkan sebentar lagi class bermula 8:30
dan akan berakhir selepas 12 jam berikutnya

:: x sabar menunggu hari sabtu ini yang pasti penat dan hepi

fifi, i'd really want the tabur2 bunga from atas..

that would sure make my day.

*smile*

i hate coughs

they make the saliva
or any drink feels like acid
running thru my rough throat everytime i swallow..

* and stuffy nose, pls control urself~

lets talk bout meal.

sy kembali ke shalam
kul 12 tghari smlm.

da 1 hari 7 jam 30 min.

jauh dari bpk, ibu, adik2.



slalunya kat umah ibu yg fikirkan what to hv for dinner.

"hm. aisyah masak nasi,
japgi potong bwg, ibu masak ayam sambal merah la."

cm gitu la arahan dia.



smlm,
bila smpai tym dinner
sy tecengang.

nk buat ape ek?

oh, makan. ok.

hm, nak cari kat mana?

erm..


er..


...... ..... ......


=.="





relax!
ok. text haziq.

oh, lmbt lg eh.
dia suruh mkn dlu.


takut plk kuar sorg2.

call shaza.

oh, da kat uptown.
xpe la. aja cari kat sini2 je la. takut plk kuar mlm2 cmni..


keluar la sy
in pyjamas
beli 2 biji burger


*shalam da jd tmpt baru pulak~

butuh hsmate dgn segera~
sy lost!

You Are Not Alone

Another day has gone
I'm still all alone
How could this be
You're not here with me

You never said goodbye
Someone tell me why
Did you have to go
And leave my world so cold

Everyday I sit and ask myself
How did love slip away
Something whispers in my ear and says


That you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though you're far away
I am here to stay

But you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though we're far apart
You're always in my heart
But you are not alone


Just the other night
I thought I heard you cry
Asking me to come
And hold you in my arms

I can hear your prayers
Your burdens I will bear
But first I need your hand
Then forever can begin

Everyday I sit and ask myself
How did love slip away
Something whispers in my ear and says


That you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though you're far away
I am here to stay

For you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though we're far apart
You're always in my heart
For you are not alone


Whisper three words and I'll come runnin'
And girl you know that I'll be there
I'll be there


You are not alone
For I am here with you
Though you're far away
I am here to stay

For you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though we're far apart
You're always in my heart

T_T

suka suka ^_^

i miss u LOTS (^^,)

what have you done to me, dear cinta?

kawan-kawan

terima kasih di atas sumbangan daging yang anda berikan. ketahuilah bahawa nafsu makan yang terpendam sekian lama ini telah mendapat kepuasan yang tiada tandingannya. mari kita lihat sejauh mana keberkesanan daging yang kita makan. moga memberi khasiat yang baik kepada kita.

selamat bercuti. kita akan berjumpa lagi semester depan. insya allah.

x sabar mau pikuniku \(^.^)/~

pukul 9pm

dari bowling,

ke karaoke,

ke pakli,

ke dataran,

ke kfc.



now dah 5.30am

*knyg mkn daging. mau lagi!!!

takziah buat ex-roommate bad yang saya diperkenalkan sebagai rido. semoga bad sabar. im sure he was really close to you.

saya mintak maaf sbb berada dalam situasi yang gembira tatkala kamu kehilangan seorang kawan. ketahuilah bahawa kami semua turut bersimpati atas pemergian dia. semoga dia dicucuri rahmat.

i know how you feel. i understand. i lost my bubbly and cheerful ex-classmate due to dengue too when we were in our 1st sem degree. it was not a good situation to be in; tamparan yang besar bagi saya. she's gone at such a young age. not to mention the laugh, joy n cry we shared together. i think you felt the same too.

know that you are not facing this alone. you have your friends around you, giving you support and encouragement in going through such painful news.

takziah again buat rido's family. and friends. semoga dia ditempatkan di golongan yang diredhai-Nya.

boorriiiiiingg~

1. Bekas kekasih saya adalah :
seorg yang manja dan comel

2. Saya sedang mendengar :
kipas pusing, kucing ngiau, ketung ketang kat baldi (nyss mandi agaknya)

3. Mungkin saya patut:
belajar mengawal emosi dgn lebih baik

4. Saya suka :
bukak internet sbb balik sbn da xde

5.Sahabat-sahabat baik saya :
"yang selalu berempat tu" "kawan2 since pre" kehkeh

6.Saya tak paham :
knp saya xblh nak pakai seatbelt kete sbg habit

7.Saya kehilangan :
dia. saya rasa. saya tau susah nk dpt org cm dia balek.

8.Ramai yang berkata :
bahawa tomok menang. betulkah?

9.Makna nama saya :
cahaya batu yang hidup bahagia. degil in her own world.. hehe

10.Cinta itu adalah:
feeling yang indah.

11.Di suatu tempat, seseorang sedang :
mkn, ro, tdo, utube, maybe bosan sbb pc xde hehe

12.Saya akan cuba :
makan japgi.

13.Ayat SELAMANYA membawa maksud :
forever yang sia2

14.Telefon bimbit saya :
ada di sebelah saya. xde msg or call yang masuk.

15.Bila saya terjaga dari tidur :
saya mau mandi.

16.Saya paling meluat apabila :
org mengata2 kelemahan org lain. xbaik bwk cite~

17.Pesta/Parti adalah :
occasion yang cam menarik

18.Haiwan yang paling comel yang saya pernah temui ialah :
turtlie yang sentiasa tersenyum

19.Peringkat umur yang paling menyeronokkan bagi saya ialah :
form 5. saya dpt tau ada org suka saya diam2 ^_^

20.Hari ini :
bkn smlm

21.Malam ini saya akan :
tgk wolverine yeay

22.Esok pula saya akan :
mengabdikan diri kepada buku teks PTE bak kata hzq. cm ye je nk bukak buku hajar nih~

23.Saya betul-betul inginkan :
spegeti~ mana ni

24.Ketika anda lihat wajah anda di hadapan cermin pagi ini :
byknye jerawat hajar~

25.Pusat membeli-belah atau arked permainan :
arked permainan yang ada pusat membeli belah. hehe

26.Makanan Barat atau Jepun :
westlife.

27.Bilik yang terang atau gelap :
terang!!

28.Makanan segera adalah :
makanan yang menempah pelbagai penyakit cepat2

29.Ayat terakhir yang anda katakan pada seseorang?
saya mau hire dia jd penulis lirik. best2

30.Siapa yang anda nak Tag?
nyss, fqa, shaza, adrina, teddy, kak azni, sume~

conflict of the day

drum rolls (drrr........)

(dush)


lapar VS sgugut
( ^_^ )"


xleh nak bezakan.
dua2 kat abdomen..

hehe

patutla malas2 smcm


okay, solution?
1. carik mknn dlu pape pun. erk, dilema: nk mkn ape pun xtau.
2. okies. bubur pun best. xyah kunyah sgt. gile mls hajar nih!!
tp xleh. mcD jauh.
3. instant bubur. sndri pun xde peket.
4. mintak kat kak azni. ahh~ malas nak gi. malas. malas.
*kak azni ade buat delivery x? hehe

last2..
kuar mlm ni jela. kasi sgugut hilang dlu. jln2 dgn perut yg sakit kang lg parah..
kemas bilik, sapu umah, basuh baju, lipat baju, kemas kete, guling2 kat katil..

*darn ani sup. y la u tutup??

buat seorang kawan,

saya sayang sama kamu.
kalo boleh, saya mau kita macam dulu.
kita gurau senda
kita bual bicara
dunia ini kita yang punya.

sekian lama kita xberhubung
benar lama.
usah ragu
ku ingat kamu hari2.

takdir menemukan kita semula
kamu kini insan yang tidak ku kenali!
kenapa??

malam tadi kamu buat saya terfikir
banyak benda yang boleh menyebabkan kamu begitu.
salah diriku yang meninggalkan kamu dahulu.
salah diriku yang menukar nombor tanpa memberitahumu.
salah diriku yang tidak bersama denganmu kala dirimu depressed
dan menurut ajakan kawan-kawan lain.
salah diriku yang tidak bersama denganmu, membimbing kamu
dan hanya membiarkan kamu hanyut dalam arus duniawi.

saya sayang sama kamu.
x lama lagi kita masing2 akan kawin.
masing2 punya pasangan sendiri
punya keluarga sendiri
punya anak sendiri.
kawan, fikirla yang terbaik.

untung sape dapat ko, jar. ko baik.
abis, sape2 yang dapat kamu? x untung?
saya yakin kamu bukan dari kelompok itu.
saya tau kamu bukan sebahagian dari kelompok itu.

kamu akan berubah.
kamu janji kan?
janji ya?
demi saya
demi dia.

saya sayang sama kamu.
saya yakin, dia lebih menyayangi kamu.

jangan buat saya sedih lagi.

make each day count.

"I mean, I got everything I need right here with me. I got air in my lungs, a few blank sheets of paper. I mean, I love waking up in the morning not knowing what's gonna happen or, who I'm gonna meet, where I'm gonna wind up. Just the other night I was sleeping under a bridge and now here I am on the grandest ship in the world having champagne with you fine people. I figure life's a gift and I don't intend on wasting it. You don't know what hand you're gonna get dealt next. You learn to take life as it comes at you... to make each day count."

well said, Jack..

i need to recover.

sedang saya menjawab test bel,
phone dlm pocket saya vibrate

jap2, blm siap lg. sabar eyh.

vibrate lagi. berkira2 dlm kepala; ada msg 1, ada call 3...

da submit paper, saya tgk phone.
betul ada 1 msg, 3 miscall.


all are from fahmey


erk
cool, hajar~

dia mintak saya angkat call jap.

saya reply yang saya ada test td. ada apa awak call?

dia reply yang dia happy. dia da abis matrix, kalo ada rezeki nti, dia nak masuk U

tu je ke yang sampai 3 call??

for the first time, saya respond dia dan saya congratulate dia.

dia call again

saya xangkat.

dia call lg

dan lagi...

sigh.. that's it.

saya angkat.
saya tegur dia
yang saya xnak dia call saya lagi.

kenapa? dia tanya.

and i regret saying those words.

sbb saya xnak.
saya mintak maaf, saya letak phone.

dia senyap.
dia x call lagi.

................................

sampai malam
saya terfikir ttg dia.
dia da stopped calling. msg pun da xde. dia ok x?
then saya teringat perasaan saya bila ckp dgn dia camtu.
i regreted?
i shouldnt feel that way. mmg saya da lama xnak dia call saya.
i realized
i miss him so much.
suara itu yang slalu marah saya, suara itu yang slalu pujuk saya.
saya sedar saya da salah kat dia.
what if dia da lupakan yang dulu?
what if dia nak come clean and berkawan mcm biasa?

ahh... tensi2..
luka dalam terparut kembali.

sepanjang malam saya da xbetul.
kawan saya kata saya mcm robot
yang da xde kawalan (or sumthing like that).
saya mintak maaf. saya salah kat kamu sume.
i shouldnt have answered him in the 1st place.

*i need a hug*
ps: thanx for cowie. dia da guling2 merata.
pagi td i found him bawah katil.
^_^"

dear kak azni

adrina tagged me again. (skip all these to the result part pon boleh)

Do the "Letter MEME". Tag no less than 5 other people, and leave them a comment, informing them that they have been tagged.

Then copy the "How-to" Letter Meme, and finish your Journal entry.


*****************************

Dear ________ (the last person who left a comment on your blog/journal):

I don't really know how to tell you this, but (1)______. I think I realized it (2)______ (3)______ and I saw you (4)______ (5)______. I'm sure you're (6)______ enough to understand (7)______. I'm returning (8)______ to you, but I'll keep (9)______ as a memory. You should also know that I (10)______ (11)______ .

(12)______,
-Your name-


****************************


Fill in the blanks with choices of answers as below:

1. What's the color of your shirt?
Blue- Our romance is over
Red- Our affair is over
White- I'll join the monastery
Black- I dislike you
Green - Our horoscope doesn't match
Grey - You're a pervert
Yellow - I'm selling myself
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
Brown - The mafia wants you
No shirt - You're a loser
Other - I'm in love with your sister

2. Which is your birth month?
January - That night
February - Last year
March - When your dwarf bit me
April - When I tripped on sesame seeds
May - First of May
June - When you put cuffs on me
July - When I threw up
August - When I saw the shrunken head
September - When we skinny dipped
October - When I quoted Santa
December - When I changed tennis shoes

3. Which food do you prefer?
Taco - In your apartment
Pizza - In your camping car
Pasta - Outside of Chicago
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad - As you ate enchilada
Chicken - In your closet
Kebab - With Paris Hilton
Fish - In women's clothing
Sandwiches - At the Hare Krishna graduation
Lasagna - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under a state of trance
None of the above - With George Bush and his wife

4. What's the colour of your socks?
Yellow - Hit on
Red - Insult
Black - Ignore
Blue - Knock out
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Carve your initials into
Grey - Pull the clothes off
Brown - Put leeches on
Orange - Castrate
Pink - Pull the toupee off
Barefoot - Sit on
Other - Drive out

5. What's the color of your underwear?
Black - My best friend
White - My father
Brown - My fart balloon
Purple - My mustard soufflé
Red - Donald Duck
Blue - My avocado plant(eeww)
Yellow - My penpal in Ghana
Orange - My Kid Rock-collection
Pink - Manchester United's goalkeeper
None - My John F. Kennedy-statue
Other - The crazy monk

6. What do you prefer to watch on TV?
Scrubs - Man
O.C - Emotional
One Tree Hill - Open
Heroes - Frostbitten
Lost - High
House - Scared
Simpsons - Cowardly
The news - Mongolic
Idol - Masochistic
Family Guy - Senile
Top Model - Middle-class

7. Your mood right now?
Happy - How awful
Sad - How boring you are
Bored - That Santa doesn't exist
Angry - That your pimples are at the last stage
Depressed - That we're cousins
Excited - That there is no solution to this
Worried - That your Honda sucks
Apathetic - That I did a sex-change
Ashamed - That I'm allergic to your hamster
Cuddly - That I get turned on by garbage men
Overjoyous - That I'm open
Other - That Extreme Home Makeover sucks

8. What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
White - Your ring
Yellow - Your love letters
Red - Your Darth Vader-poster
Black - Your tame stone
Blue - The couch cushions
Green - The pictures from LA
Orange - Your false teeth
Brown - Your contact book
Grey - Our matching snoopy-bibs
Purple - Your old lottery coupons
Pink - How awful I've felt

9. The first letter of your first name?
A/B - Your photo
C/D - The oil stocks
E/F - Your neighbour Martin
G/H - My virginity
I/J - The results of your blood-sample
K/L - Your left ear
O/P - My common sense
Q/R - Your mom
S/T - Your collection of butterflies
U/V - Your criminal record
W/X - David's tricot outfits
Y/Z - Your grades from college

10. The last letter in your last name?
A/B - Hate your guts
C/D - Never will forget
E/F - Always wanted to break
I/J - Always have felt dirty before
K/L - Will tell the authorities about
M/N -Told in my confession today about
O/P - Was interviewed by the Times about
Q/R - Told my psychiatrist about
S/T - Get sick when I think of
U/V - Always will try to forget
W/X - Am better off without
Y/Z - Never liked

11. What do you prefer to drink?
Water - Our friendship
Beer - Senility
Soft drink - A new life as a clone
Soda - The incarnation as an eskimo
Milk - The apartment building
Wine - Cocaine abuse
Cider - A passionate interest for mice
Juice - Oprah Winfrey imitations
Mineral water - Embarrassing rash
Hot chocolate - Eggplant-fetishism
Whisky - To ruin the second world war

12. To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Thailand - Warm regards
USA - Best regards
Spain - Go and drown yourself
China - Disgusting regards
Germany - With ease
Japan - Go burn
Greece - Your everlasting enemy
Australia - Greetings to your frog Leonard
Egypt - Fuck off now
France - In pain

****************************

The result:
Dear kak azni (shazni.abdullah - commented on Last Kiss - Pearl Jam)

I don't really know how to tell you this, but You're a pervert. I think I realized it When your dwarf bit me At the mental hospital and I saw you Sit on My John F. Kennedy-statue. I'm sure you're Cowardly enough to understand That there is no solution to this. I'm returning Your ring to you, but I'll keep My virginity as a memory. You should also know that I Told my psychiatrist about Oprah Winfrey imitations.


Go and drown yourself.
hajar.


============================================================


*klaka - muahahaha*
ps: my virginity IS well-kept

Seven people I wanna tag:
:: afiqah
:: shaza
:: haziq
:: acad
:: teddy
:: kak azni (u know i heart u. pls dun drown urself, dear ^_^)
:: nyss

pictures of answers

was tagged by adrina. sorry lmbt reply.


The rules are simple.
~Use Google Image to search the answers to the questions below. Then you must choose a picture in the first page of the results, and post it as your answer. After that tag 6 people...


i am:

discovering myself

i really want to go:

my favourite place:

my favourite drink:

my favourite food:

my favourite color:

my favourite show:

my hobbies:

my wishes:

i would like to tag:
[ afiqah ]
[ haziq ]
[ teddy ]
[ shaza ]
[ herne ]
[ afiq shiekh ]

Last Kiss - Pearl Jam

We were out on a date in my daddy's car
We hadn't driven very far
There in the road, straight ahead
A car was stalled, the engine was dead

I couldn't stop, so I swerved to the right
I'll never forget the sound that night
The screamin' tires, the bustin' glass
The painful scream that I heard last

Oh where, oh where, can my baby be?
The Lord took her away from me
She's gone to heaven, so I've got to be good
So I can see my baby when I leave this world




andai kata jalan x licin sbb hujan

andai kata brek xmkn sbb ku tekan

andai kata kete ku ikut arah stereng yang aku pulas


da sure ku 6-feet-under
sbb kete tegolek






cermin signal depan je yg pecah
sbb langgar roundabout





and i thank God cuz i'm here
and am still typing

i'll get that repaired, bapak
i'm sorry

*xmau mkn dah*

setelah shooting madarin tadi di-review


saya da perasann..

anak ibu da gemokk~

huhu,
hajar,jom diet..

startled

i wanted to question, but i know i shouldn't

the answer could be disappointing.
that's why i didnt.

wondering

what if he likes her again?
what if the feeling is still there?
what if he can not let it go?

saya sedih

hi fiqah~

*u can take fiqah away in 14 minutes*

pelanduk dua serupa kot
kn fiqa kan~

peringatan di lain hari

hajar, bila minyak kete da tunjuk tanda E, maknanya kena isi.


bukannya bwk kete sampai kete mati tgh jalan..

^_^"
sape la nye kete kne tolak smlm??

it hurts

YOU do not need to give THAT eyes and THAT words when speaking to a FRIEND, spitting out your bad feelings about somebody else.

esp when that FRIEND asked you out is for you to forget the bad feelings!

tagged

1. Do you think you're HOT?
[haha, tak]

2. Upload gambar kegemaran anda.

[diberi oleh bad]

3. Kenapa anda suka gambar ini?
[gambar ini comel]

4. Bila kali terakhir makan pizza?
[march 29th with me parents.. happy birthday to sofia too]

5. Lagu terakhir yang anda dengar?
[diari hatimu - siti nurhaliza]

6. Apa yang anda sedang buat selain selesaikan tag ini?
[layan chat bad and surfing~]

7. Selain nama sendiri, anda suka dipanggil dengan panggilan apa?
haha, i like my name perfectly enuf. [hajar aisyah]

8. Tag lagi 6 orang. Soalan seterusnya ada kaitan dengan orang yang anda tag!

i) [acad]

ii) [haziq]

iii) [safwan]

iiii) [shaza]

iiiii) [teddy]

iiiiii) [afiq director]

9. Siapa no.1 pada anda?
[kawan tesl saya, kawan drama saya, kawan saya.]

10. Orang no.3 ada hubungan dengan siapa?
[dengan seorang yang dia suka diam2.. *hihi]

11. Kata sesuatu berkenaan orang no. 5?
[nti pegi pakli ajak kite skali ya]

12. Bagaimana dengan no. 4?
[mari kita ke genting.. pls..]

13. Siapa no. 2?
[KAWAN saya]

14. Bagi pesanan pada orang no. 6.
[mlm tu ko buat aku lupa masalah aku..aku suka]

*grand relieve*

dinner went well

thanx to all~

*gelabah here and there*




still,
it was fun..





though i don't really know my definition of fun
cuz my friends tegur supaya i stay calmed~






maybe i frowned
and thought of the flaws that could occur.. haha





there were..

and i couldn't do anything~

didn't realize the frown, i'm sorry








haih~
bestnya da abis..



*siapla korang time postmortem.. haha~*

29/03

Just to remind u that,
at this hour, twenty one years ago,
I was having my first
one-hour-gap of labour pain
to give birth to my very first princess.. !
And now she is a bright, sweet, young lady.
Happy birthday darling Aisyah !
You will grow up to be a queen !
*kiss*
Do take a very good care of yourself. We all love you.
Sentiasa di dalam pemeliharaan Allah.
Amin.

28/03 , 23:26

the words touched my heart. tq ibu. i love u too.

tq safwan for driving me to klcc. u made my day. u made my day~

tq hzq and fqa. klcc cantik kan. sama mcm having u guys in my life.

tq azila. and yes, i now can vote.

tq shaza, yana, syafiq, afiq. best wishes to u too. (^_^)

awak, saya x larat~

saya cuma nak tidur, boleh?
saya penat sangat.

u made my day

One evening,


i've gotten a remark

"hajar, ko da berisi"
-fifi-

hehe



and another evening,

"aku tgk ko da makin gemuk"
-amar-

hehe~

( ^_^ )"
*bahagia*

iye yana, i akan reply.

so i was tagged again. this time around, it's from yana.



yup, the cute blog.
AGAIN




dia dok hambat saya kiri kanan, bagitau yang dia tag saya. basically, all that she wants is the perception that i have towards her, not the 10 facts and hobbies. *ape yana ni~

kita cut it short je la ya. saya da buat 10 facts and hobbies tu.



this is what i want to say about her.
:: YANA adalah seorang insan yang sangat happy.

:: dikenali sbg flow; singkatan kpd nama 'flower'. some call her 'bunga'

:: sangat menyayangi nizam, cinta hatinya. nak tgk demand x demand yana ni; seperti perempuan2 yang lain, dia mengidamkan teddy2 from pakwe dia, jalan2 dgn pakwe dia and love letters from pakwe dia. suka tgk dia and nizam; comel.

:: dia ada major mission; kumpul duit untuk kawin. kalo nak ikutkan, banyak dah duit yang dia ada skarang ni. jadi, kadang2 dia menyimpang jauh dari mission nya; sangat kuat bershopping dan dia sangat suka melayan selera makan dia walaupun kadang2 makanan dia x abis. *yana, kan bazir tu..

:: hm, jarang tgk dia marah atau lepas marah kat org lain. best kalo ngadu kat dia. mmg leh cerita sume yang terpendam.

things dah lightened my head

these major things dah di taken care of:

:: proposal dinner DL da lulus; 1st April 09 at MBSA with purple, black, white and silver theme

:: girls' day out with adik2; upin ipin the movie best

:: 2 mock meetings; script for next meeting and minutes of previous meeting

:: proposal jacket for smf members da lulus; we need to pay half of the payment though

:: hari bertemu pelanggan; 16 March 09 ...harap2 lancar, amin

:: assignment mr kiran that costs 25%; acknowledging helps from fiqa, hzq and shaza

:: and im really sorry on how badly i acted towards my frens around me for these past few days. i know it wont happen again







hm,

chayok hajar~




*lompat kecik2*
yeay

listening to

sober - p!nk

"When it's good, then its good
It's so good
Till it goes bad
Till you're trying to find the you that you once had
I have heard myself crying;
Never again
Broken down in agony
Just tryin' to find a way"

........................................................

dearest friends,

im sorry bout my ym status tonite
truly i am.




it was a feeling of frustration
i've been holding on for so long








yes,
it's not bout him.
fhmy, i can handle.
or anybody else for that matters.












it was just bout sumbody u do not know

or maybe
u do.







that is why,
*yana, bad, faiz muazan, teddy, hzq*
im sorry.

now i realize.

remember the person that i like, as mentioned before this?

[ i don't like him anymore ]

the end.

what world am i in?

sigh~

ada yang nangis

*ada yang happy*

// yang marah2 \\

:: yang dibuai cinta ::

"ada yang carut2"

[yang suka2 lepas marah]

> yang menahan rindu <

# yang masih dalam kebingungan #

= yang cemburu dgn apa yang org lain ada =

xX indahkah dunia ni? Xx



.....................................................................................................

march datang lagi..

pagi td ku realize

now da bulan march.

ku terdiam

jap.

28 march

x lama lg

anniversary

me and fahmey

yang sepatutnya ke-3



~aimey~

jangan ingatkan saya ya

saya nak pesan.

itu saja.

why me... again??

ok afiq, here u go. (",)

oh nash, this is to u as well.

...................................................................................................................................

1) Copy badge "2009 Cute's Blogger Award" at my blog .

2) Link/Ceritakan kembali siapa yang memberikan award ini kepada anda.

3) Setiap blogger mesti menyatakan 10 fakta/hobi diri sendiri sebelum memilih penerima award seterusnya (anda di-tag).

4) Anda perlu memilih 5 penerima award seterusnya dan menyatakan nama mereka di blog anda.

5) Jangan lupa melawat blog kawan anda dan meninggalkan komen yang menyatakan mereka telah ditag.

....................................................................................................................................

1)








2)
i was tagged by afiq and nashrah. me besties. let's talk bout afiq first. i knew afiq way back in kuantan. tho i didn't know his name or wasn't the same group as his, but he was noticable. maybe because of the 'sheikh' look in him, hehe. then i get to know him a lot better in our "andre's mother" short drama and also being classmates during part 2 (ye ke, afiq? ingat2 lupa la). in the mean time, that's all i can tell, hehe.. moving on to nashrah. the adorable nashrah. we were in pre shah alam together way back in 2006-2007. she's is a very humble and intelligent person. quite a bookish person. from her being single to the time she found her love; from her kurus2 now chubby bubbly, i know one thing she hasn't change a bit. still lovable~



3)
hm let's see...

- fact : saya sgt kurusss. eiy, bile nak gemok2 nih~ (nash, camne nk kuat mkn?)

- fact : saya bahagia dikelilingi kawan2 yang best2 dan best2 dan best2...

- fact : saya masih teringatkan dia... aih~ hajar nih

- fact : i do not stalk. anymore. period. *hehe

- hobby : xkan bosan mendengar suara justin timberlake. haih~

- hobby : sleeping is my drug buddy

- fact : ku x suka kerja setiausaha. penat kepala~

- fact : tapi ku suka muka mencapap kat board. aih~ ape ni

- fact : ku perlu elakkan dia. org akan salah faham nti.

- fact : tapi ku x suka~. betul x suka.



4)
award ini ku tuju kepada:
- fiqa
- niss
- shaza
- teddy
- safwan

of Chong Wei and Lin Dan~

"kita bersaing secara sihat, ok?"

okay hajar







hajar... ?








hajar!
choose!!









OK.



"yeahhh, hajar pilih aku~"

( ^_^ )"