i'm not ready :(

esok kene balik shah alam.

tsk.. tsk..

okeh. let me check out things yang dah prepare.

1. baju dah basuh. esok boleh pack masuk bag.

2. kereta sudah isi minyak dan isi angin tayar. esok nak check minyak hitam.

3. hadiah untuk 'in dan iki dah balut. tinggal wish card belum isi.

ohhhh, sikit nye...

tonnes of things belum buat!!

1. buku2 dan alat tulis belum cari. gosh, sepahnye bilik~

2. belum beli berus gigi, ubat gigi, shampoo... ok, those are in the shopping list tmro. also ink printer, deodorant, face wash...

3. basuh Greenie tmro morning sebelum shop.

4. jumpa bapak. bapak dah ada kat shah alam; nak jumpa dia untuk amik road tax for Greenie. hug&kiss him and say goodbye.

5. journals belum compile in one file. they're all over the place!

the truth is, i'm not ready just yet. beratnye hati~

i wish all of you the very best.

tadi baru in contact dgn elwa.

setelah sekian lama...

da ngantuk sbnrnya. thus the conversation was short.

tapi bleh tahan gak kte nye batch kawan2 nih.

lepas sorang, sorang kawin.

tunang pun jadi cerita.

trend ek kawin muda2 dan cepat2?

atau nak cepatkan perkara yang baik,

atau nak elak fitnah makcik2 kampung,

atau cik abg nak sambung blaja di negara org,

atau da sampai seru...

atau cik abg ensem sangat~ hehe

tapi seronok tengok sume get paired macam ni.

it makes the relationship looks real.

bukan macam zaman skolah yang nak ngorat2 dan try2. hehe

ada relationship yg berkembang pesat di depan mata sejak skolah,

ada relationship yg kte tak sedar terjadi. tau2 je dia da ada partner. haha

so bila cerita tersebar luas, hati jadi excited sbb ia dah move to the next level; marriage.

bukan calang2 orang yang kte kenal ni kawin.

sorang ni, masa skola ttj skali dulu, hebat dikenali sbg player.

kat skola serting pun ada player.

skang gmbr nikah diorg da jadi profile pic FB. cantik!

sorang ni plak, masa kat ttj gak, pendiam sungguh. asik2 senyum.

tau2 je, masa kte baru masuk pre-shahalam, dia dah prepare nak nikah.

fuh, dapat anak pertama umur 20!!

tu tak masuk 4 ex-housemates kat shahalam yang kawin after grad,

nanny yang kawin early this year,

kasz dgn dayl pun,

'in dan iki yang bakal sanding new year nanti...

hey, i'm missing out lots more~

pape pun, kalau ada jodoh, pasti jadi.

lambat atau cepat, itu keputusanNya.

tahniah sbb dijodohkan cepat :D

smoga dimurahkan rezeki... dengan pelbagai cara.

hensemnye long-haired Johnny Depp.

tak sabar nak tgk The Tourist.

but i like him better without the beard tho.

mcm serabut sket.

not really my cup of tea, but it was a good tea.

last year i watched Transformers; Revenge of the Fallen.

it was not some movies i usually watch. especially on the big screens.

sebenarnya tapenah. tsk..

but i understood the story. most of it.

and just now, i watched Transformers.

(on TV2, hehe..)

the first one, which was aired somewhere in 2007.

wanna know one secret?

only i now understand the plot of Transformers.

like, seriously understand.

how the robots got to Earth, the cube, the Autobots vs the Decepticons.

(now i see that (sadly) Starscream was on Megatron's side)

how Bumblebee cannot 'communicate' properly like the rest of his mates.

and yes, haziq was right. the robots did transform themselves into machines and vehicles.

i couldn't understand it at first; i thought the cars turned themselves into robots. haha!

and it truly did answer my biggest question; of why Sam was 'the chosen one'.

fuhhh, imagine me now eagerly anxious to watch Revenge of the Fallen again.

oh, try guessing another thing~

ara did not need much explanations when watching just now,

as how i needed to explain things to her when watching movies

like Twilight or Ghost Whisperer or Rapunzel.

(why are they doing this, or why is it gone, or where is she going..)

ok, sometimes i also missed out a few things and asked her too

but lets put that aside :D

i guess the plot did its job this time.

oh, blog is pink. it's pink!!!

City Park, Seremban 2

beautiful indeed. i wish u were here :)

a good morning.

waking up cozily in bed

and see ur ever so sweet boyfie before you.

heeee

turns me on everytime

tekad

December is the month now.

a.k.a the last month.

a.k.a the end of the year.

there were several things happened last year during this month.

several things that i handled recklessly. very thoughtlessly.

regardless, they all happened.

so quickly, so fast.. i didn't realize they actually did happen.

up until now, i'm constantly pinching myself to remember all of those things.

and now, i know what i should've seen.

i know what i've done before.

after pinching myself, i know what i should've done,

and what i've missed.

three to four months i took to remember and look back.

segala 'should have' perlu dielakkan. tak patut dinilai.

ia sungguh menentang kejadian Yang Maha Mengetahui.

and i took a couple of days to make a decision.

saya tekad.

saya mahu awak memiliki apa yang saya mahu bagi. sbb saya rasa awak akan sukakannya. saya suka jika awak memilikinya. sbb ia memberi makna yang baik pada kita berdua jika awak memilikinya. i hope you will like it.

ada several lagi.. tp this will do :)

random bits about my braces. like, really random.

ok let me put the chronology of wearing the braces from day one.

first i got my teeth scaled and filled.

u know, dia buang all the hitam2 part on ur teeth

and tampal kalo2 ada lubang kat gigi.

then two teeth from the upper jaw got pulled out.

that took 3-4 hrs to stop bleeding

and a whole week to fully recover.

then dentist put 'getah' kat celah2 gigi blakang at each ends

to push them a bit and make some space

for the braces to fit in between.

this one took a week for the gap to appear.

bila ada space, the 'getah' was taken out

and this is when the braces came in.

the process took almost 1hr 30min,

and i got the colour grey for it.

since then, it's all about ketatkan gigi and changing new getah in every appointment.

the getah started off with the colour grey. tak pilih pun colour ni, tau2 je da ada kat gigi. layan je~

then i chose pink (nak baby pink sbnrnya for raya - turned out bright pink. dush!!)

then i asked for blue.

now she had a transparent getah on my teeth. making my braces look like diamonds. not literally, but cantik. i like this one better.

oh, 'she' there is my dentist. we all call her Dr Siti. hehe

---- i've been worried sick about wearing braces actually. worried that it would take a longggg time to straighten the teeth. worried that i would look hideous with it. on top of that, i don't really want to change the structure of my teeth. i just don't feel like changing it. lagi2 when ppl say braces needs commitment when maintaining it. takutttt~

guess what?

i don't mind at all - about all the ridiculous things i've been worrying before.

sbb i get to play with colours :)

amboi Ara~

Ara just got back from meeting her friends. We talked about what she did during the day.

me: Ara lunch ke x tadi? Ara makan apa? (so that i could prepare anything if she didn't lunch with them or if she feels hungry again)

ara: Ara makan McD tadi. (and she gave me Kinder Bueno) Nah, ni Im kasi.

me: Oraittt. Abis dia x kasi satu kat Ara ke??

ara: Xpe. Dia da blanja Ara McD tadi.

me: Oit!!! Asal x bayar sendiri?? tsk~ (Imran sebaya dgn Ara, 14tahun. Kesian la plak Im yg bayarkan makanan Ara. I just said that to myself)

ara: Dah tu. Dia yg tanya nak makan apa.. Ara cakap tak kesah. Dia tanya banyak kali...

me: sigh~ Gasak la... (pandang Kinder Bueno) Ni akak punye tau. Igt nak kasi kat Ara satu. Tp x jadi la.

ara: Amik la kak. Akak nak tau, stakat ni Im tapenah tgk wallet Ara. Punyala nak kata yg sume Im bayarkan~

me: Oit.. gile tak maluuuu!!!!!!!

ara: Hehehe..

saya sentap kali ini.

bukan sbb the whole 'belanja' thing sangat.

it just reminds me of him.

it made me miss him.

wonder how's he doin...

:)

oh. i do need to teach Ara a lesson.

kasi malu saja asik2 menerima~

I think things will work out between them.

Chip and Niessa.

I think.

I like seeing them together.

So let's pray.

:D

got the vid from YouTube.

sbb tu saya kasi lagu ni kat awak. lagu ni besh!

i think i like this version more.

i think u'll like this one too.

first love always has the first big impact

8tv Quickie has been on air for quite a while. Since 8tv mula2 on. Somewhere in 2004. The show started with Adam C as the host. His coolness and fluency in speaking had captured my small teenage heart at that time. Not to mention his innocent comel smile. Once in a while, he would be paired with Marion Caunter. Oh that ever so sweet and beautiful Marion. Like him, I personally like the way she talked and presented herself, apart from the way she answered a caller's call to win goodies from the show. She sounded so sincere and friendly.

this is them.

got the pic from this blog.

ps: really nice pics u got there dude.

From time to time, the 8tv Quickie has new family members joining in. In fact, the Quickie Search was held a few weeks ago. What I really hope from the search is for them to look for some real and natural talents in each individual. Fluency and positive attitude may be the most important items as a host in any tv shows. But I think apart from those, knowing when to speak is the key item. Especially when the show has two hosts, talking to make the show alive.

What I mean is, I miss having Adam and Marion. The chemistry they had on the show lets me know what 8tv Quickie was all about. And it was relaxing just to wait for the next tv program (ANTM, The Fab Five, etc).

Looking at the new faces on the couch of 8tv Quickie makes me sigh deeply. I dont really favour them. In fact, I think the only person who is fluent, presentable and knows when to speak is Naqib. The rest seem too energetic and overexcited on the show. Instead of making the show alive and relaxed, they overdo it kadang2 sampai jadi huru hara. Semua berebut nak cakap; I get confuse all the time. Tp Naqib nampak sangat fresh and nebes on the show. Tak comel kadang2. He needs more experiences.

tsk, macam emo di sini.

maafkan saya, haha.

a gentle reminder. to self and all others.

selisih faham suami isteri tak kemana.

sbb, masing2 bawah bumbung yg sama.

nak taknak, perlu selesaikan apa yg berselirat.

masih perlu bersua muka dan menghadap each other.

sbb tu,

time couple ni la, segala yg berselirat perlu dibawa bincang.

supaya bila bercadang nak kawin dengan si dia,

tak lah terasa terasing apabila timbulnya masalah.

sbb tu,

time couple ni la, hati dan kehendak masing2 perlu aware.

supaya bila perlu memilih antara dua pilihan,

tak lah terasa kecewa dan kecil hati.

apa2 pun, time couple ni la, semua perlu prepare bersama2.

hati dan fikiran.

supaya bila berdua, perasaan masing2 berbunga indah.

"sesuatu" dan ipod

saya telah membeli sesuatu hari ini.

sbb dah dua malam saya tak senang tidur memikirkannya.

tak senang tidur sbb takut habis dijual.

tak senang tidur sbb sesuatu itu menggoda dan cantik.

cantik di mata saya.

tp ada perkara yang pelik berlaku.

kini keinginan untuk mendapatkan ipod tidak sehebat baru2 ini.

"tak pela. tak beli pun tak pe."

itu yang dirasai.

adakah sbb beli sesuatu itu?

tp, sesuatu itu tiada kaitannya dengan ipod.

terfikir.

apakah yang berlaku sebenarnya?

rasa nak nangis hari ni.

a lot of things happened today.

let me list them.

1. minyak hitam Greenie sikit gle. patut la the red light light doesn't turn off.

2. belt Greenie loose. sbb tu battery tak dapat charge. sbb tu Greenie tak leh start this morning.

3. ada possibility yg battery Greenie dah weak. perlu take note utk tukar.

4. hadiah ibu tak dapat nak beli this morning, due to sick Greenie. terus spoil my birthday mood. to make things worse, ibu is taking a day off tomorrow. then how am i gonna buy surprised bday cake and pressie tmro??

5. bais langgar kereta jiran time gostan. bullshit almost terjerit dari mulut, and i dont know how this will be explained to bapak.

alhamdulillah, note 1 and 2 have been taken care of. Greenie is back in shape. note 4 however, makes me stone numb. note 5, headaches.

i feel like crying. esok birthday ibu. tp hadiah belum beli, cake belum beli.. bais langgar kereta org plak.

oh. ara called last nite. sleeping partner is having a hard time preparing for the show. katanya tak dapat keep up.

huwaaaa!!!

tsk.. tsk..

bismillahi tawakkal~

sesungguhnya Engkau Maha Mengetahui

iPod granted!!

whoa~

breathe in.

breathe out.

:D

sorry, Sony walkman

That's why you are special.

Tau takk?

Ara has always been the one yang kena usik.

Bais slalu buli dia, Kakak pun sama. Sofia marah2 dia. Sian dia.

Suatu malam,

Kami di depan tv menonton berita jam 8.

Ara sorang je lapar. Dia sedang dinner,

dan saya galak mengusik dia makan, dan mencocok2 dia di pinggang.

Ara merengek, dan mengelak. Cuba meminta simpati dari Ibu.

Of kos la Ibu pandang.

"Dah la tu Aisya. Tak habis dengan Iskandar, Aisya pulak sambung."

keh3..

Bapak memandang situasi kami.

"Tu lah Ara~ Nasib seorang anak bongsu."

Ara sighed.

"Salah Ara ke, Bapak? Salah Ara ke?"

0.0

Saya menganga! Cemana nih...

Saya pandang Bapak.

Bapak membetulkan duduknya dan pura-pura menonton semula berita.

Tengok2 Ibu plak yang angkat kepala.

Memandang terkebil2, meminta simpati.

"Abis, salah Ibu ke?"

hahahahahahahaha! ketawa saya tak boleh tahan~

Sape nak jawab nihh

Takkan nak bukak buku Biologi kot.

Bais da sengih2. hehe

"Yela yela. Salah Ara laa sebab lahir last. Salah Ara~"

Ara continued makan, dia da malas nak layan.

Bapak nak kaver line..

"Ara, ni semua macam pintu."

Jari telunjuknya menunding ke pintu utama.

Laaa~ ape kaitan sume ni dengan pintu???

Me and Ibu dah gelak2 kat Bapak.

Bapak smiled, buat donno je dan continued.

"Bapak da kasi can kat Ara untuk keluar awal2. Tapi Ara kasi Kakak keluar dulu. Kakak da keluar enjoy2, Ara dok hu-ha lagi kat sini. Hah. Pastu Ara kasi Bais. Pastu Kak Ija pun sama. Empat tahun lepas Kak Ija baru la Ara keluar. Empat tahun Ara lengah2. Hah. Cemana. Ape boleh Bapak buat??"

Saya tersenyum. Bapak slalu tau nak cakap mcm mana.

Ara continued makan.

"Yelah. Yelah. Dah takdir~"

Hehe.

Ibu always says, Ara lahir last slalu ada hikmah.

Ara lahir, sekaligus menumpaskan ketegasan Bapak

dengan ketawa dan manja Ara.

Keceriaan dan senyum Ara,

telah mewarnai kami semua.

Bak kata Ibu, kedatangan Ara memang dinantikan.

Walaupun empat tahun lamanya.

Kakak rasa,

Buli itu mungkin cemburu.

Mungkin. Haha.

Kakak heart u

Kakak heart adik2 juga

ps: kelakar la Ara nih

a small comparison

i miss W610i.

though YARI is much prettier,

Orangie has good walkman to listen to.

i miss W610i.

that's why i plan to have my own Sony walkman.

surveying prices and models has been fun.

1G in YARI is not enuf.

:P

i like u still, YARI.

for ur good look.

it captured my heart.

i was there.

when that someone u wanted wasn't.

now u ignore me,

because i 'touching' when u were not there when i wanted u the most??

the most!!!

oh.

i see u've got that someone back next to u.

patutla.

my wish to the future partner of his,

be careful of what u are doing.

this is my 2nd time ketatkan gigi.

and u know?

gigi are moving!!!!

i see the changes a few days ago, just after coming back from dentist.

how do i know the gigi da gerak??

the long wire connecting my teeth together is no longer senget2.

almost in one straight line!!!

not all gigi are facing forward, still.

but i'm happy to see the slight change.

on top of that, i'm amazed!!

cannot wait to wear the 2nd braces :D

Kyan and Kyra

Familiar with my Kyra and Kyan?

Currently my FB name is Kyra Aisyah.

and u must have noticed my email kyan_aisy@y.c.m

Let me secretly reveal who Kyan and Kyra are to me.

Kyan.

Kyan is a high-school crush

apart from all cute and smart-looking eye candies in MRSM or TeknikSchool.

But Kyan was not in any of my school. In fact, he's not even in Malaysia.

He's a guy I constantly see and admire on t.v

Yes, he's from the Fab Five.

See? He's the one holding a hair dryer in his hand.

His gay-ness is quite obvious in the show.

But what the heck ^.^

Sometimes I find Jay very kiut and .. oh well, super kiut.

This is Jay. In the prev pic, he is the one having a headphone around his neck.

So I was Form4 back then, when I put Kyan's name in my email address

as well as my name Aisy.

[ kyan_aisy ]

I think it's cute.

Kyra.

Kyra is a name I came up with 3 years ago.

It's a name for me to match with Kyan's.

Hahahhaha.

I'm blushing so bad now!

~ehem

so, there. Kyra Aisyah.

Questions are countless to me about these two names

and i don't really know how to answer them.

Slalu I jawab 'ntah la' or 'saje2 letak'

and I would continue giving those kinda answers.

oh.

ps: This doesn't change the fact that JT is the lifetime boyfie. Hehe

:P

I've wanted to have this post posted long ago, but have been scared if the words are not expressive enuf about how I felt or how things really went. But what the heck.

Thanx Acad for being the best practicum partner I've ever had. Well, yea.. the only prac partner I had since Solomon and Firdaus were in the afternoon session. But that's not the point. Acad had helped me a lot throughout our practicum journey in Kapar. Let's see:

:: Swapping lesson plans between us sounds common, but not when you have big Form6 students to teach and you don't have a single idea on what to teach day by day. Acad always had these interesting and colourful ideas to make these lazy students speak during class. How could the whole Form6 Atas not love him??

:: There was one time that I hit a motorcyclist after the traffic light went green. As I was cooling myself down at the side of the road, he went out of the car and took a look at the pakcik. If it wasn't for Acad, I would have easily lost RM30 for that pakcik.

:: Acad bagi ucapan farewell depan cikgu2 time Potluck Raya. Terasa amat bersalah dia kasi ucapan sorg2, since I was having a farewell activity with my Form4 students. Lagi2, the cikgu2 in front of him were the ones yang dia

x brapa suka. Haha, ampun Acad..

:: Yes, Acad would be the best person to gossip with! He would talk about students dia, and I could easily discuss about my students. Cikgu2 pon kitorg ada cakap gak, but we don't really cross the line. Tau tak? I always feel that I could talk about anything to him. It seems easy talking to him, but I keep my limitations. Sometimes I go overboard...

:: Baraan Raya!! Homaigod, the best raya I've ever had in Shalam. Ade je plan cekgu2 ni nak kua. Acad ikut je, so kte pon ikut la. Haha. Best bila tgk Acad hulur tangan mintak duit raya, sbb I get to hulur mine too :D Hasilnya? Lumayan!

Acad and I have worked together before, during Whoa! Willow!! 2010. Although we both were the Management crews, we did not really lepak2 and talk2. I truly thank God that he was my prac partner when I didn't know who Solomon and Firdaus were. Alhamdulillah, things went well.

ps: No, he did not make me do this. hahaha

completing a jigsaw puzzle.

as u can see, the picture is given.

but the pieces are here, some are there.

most are elsewhere.

collecting the pieces is a matter.

putting the pieces together is another.

finding the missing pieces?

what about the hidden pieces?

yeah.

looks like this puzzle is quite tough to be done.

but hey.

we'll do this together! not u alone.

and yes, not me alone too.

we are going to look at the scrambled puzzle together.

find the bits and pieces together.

and put the pieces together.

that way, both of us can admire the picture.

and see what we've been thru along the way.

such stupid things are going to happen, i know.

we will laugh, we will regret, maybe we'll shed a tear too.

and at that time, above all,

we know, that the puzzle is completed.

cheers to us!

little angels are grown-ups now.

Sofia da entered KPM Beranang - akaun.

Baiz will fly Feb next year - surveying. just like his dad.

Ara comel lotey lagi - Form2.

me will grad next year - Deg TESL.

insya Allah continue Masters.

then kerja. boleh kumpul duit.

then married.

and life during marriage will be fully devoted to hubby.

still, all is insya Allah. that was the plan.

until that time, i wanna spend more time with adik2. i have been missing so much of them when i was in MRSM boarding school and TeknikSchool.

thinking bout next year scares the hell out of me.

what if i dont see Baiz as often?

what if he doesnt come back when i am on pelamin?

will i be loosing him that much if he brings back a girlfriend?

cus i feel like i am loosing Sofia and Ara when they have their loved ones.

pls tell me it's just me.

one day, i'll have myself walking in the rain.

no umbrella.

just rain coat.

:)

"aisya, cepat amik gambar!"

kata2 bapak slalu berbaur arahan. kalo dengar, kita gelabah sket.

lalu, dengan tergopoh gapahnya kte keluarkan kamera dari beg.

ini kat Mandarin Oriental Hotel, Ampang

5 Sept 2010

bapak da sporting. skang amik gambar pun kene ada dia :)

dlm lift pon nak~ pantang nmpk cermin. Ara la ajar ni...

just to get away from all malas-nak-belajar students

and the long lengthyyy lesson plans,

i now chant 'RayaRayaRayaRayaRayaRayaRa..ya..Ra....ya.....'

oh cheese tart

oh almond london

oh semprit

oh rendang ayam

ohhh nasi impit

oh ohhhhh

but seriously.

mmg x sabar nak raya :D

ppl find a partner who is willing to spend his/her life together with them.

some find a person who can tolerate their complicated perangai.

others find the one to simply make him/her happy and contented.



:)

i was with him because i like him.

not because i was desperately in need of a guy who i can call love, have a beautiful wedding after all of the studies and have kids.

no.




and i went through the pictures of us together. reading the posts, the tags, the saved ym-s, everything.

just to recall the times together and to see what went wrong. basically just to let tears run down.

i guess it's a good thing my previous phone is malfunctioned. i could have cried again. haha




it was easy being around him. listening to his stories, his dreams and wishes.

but we felt the ups and downs. up to a point when they were uncontrollable, he called quits.






there will be a time when my heart is ready for a new garden.

blossomed with all roses and daisies and lilies and carnations ..... and ...

well .... all lah :)

and there will be a time when my heart is ready to be filled when a kumbang approaches, just as how i pray that he will find his flower. he's gonna stay true to her and adore her forever. like how i always felt when we were us.


this is to us. cheers.

You Make Me Smile - Uncle Kraker

kejap lagi nak berbuka :D

tadi me and my Form4 students buat journal writing for Chapt13.

and i asked them to do a simple and short diary entry as pre-writing. just for them to simply share any of their experiences and to express their feelings and thoughts.

not too long, just a short one for me to leisurely read.

"it can be about anything?" asked one boy.

"anything" i replied with a smile.

they took out a piece of paper and started looking at the ceiling.

carik idea la niii hehehe

some had started scribbling down their thoughts.

i went around the class to check on their work, student A said to himself..

"ok. today, i want to write about my awesome teacher!"

"hmm.." student B said, sitting next to him. "wonder who that is~"

student A: erm, she's the one wearing purple today.

and he smiled to himself.

i was smiling. too.

"hehe.. ramai kot in purple today" i said.

student A looked at me.

"no teacher" he said, in the as-a-matter-of-fact tone. "u're the only one"

heeeee

i blushed so hard!

and my only reply was a mere "ha ha ha"

thank you pun x terkeluar!

how could i not lurveee my Form4 students??

mahu dating.

never knew Masjid Besi would be that b e a u t i f u l ~

i miss u, cinta hati

it's 2.27am

i was ironing my baju kurung for my school's replacement day when i remember this story.

i met Sofia at Terminal1, Seremban around 6pm last Friday.

janji nak jumpa and balik umah sama2.

ibu kata town jam. ibu x larat nk amik, so ibu sruh naik cab ngn sofia.

we took a cab, i sat next to the driver. sofia duk blakang.

so i layan the driver's questions on where we were from, study or da keje...

and, despite talking about how much he hates driving in the jam and all

he brought in the 'sabar in puasa' part.

"saya tau la sikit2 pasal ni" he said sengih2.

and we were reaching our house.

i looked at him.

"apa kata u puasa jugak. try la. satu hari."

and i prepared myself for a small chuckle from him, or maybe a smirk and "naahhh, penatla nak puasa. lagipun saya bawak kreta..."

ngehehehe... i wouldn't mind. he's an indian. a young indian.

he turned his head, and looked at me. 1,, 2,, seconds...

he looked back at the road. smiled.

"boleh"

my eyes terbeliak.

............................................................................

u know,

i don't know how far can his word be true. kemungkinan utk dia saje2 pun ada. maybe dia jaga hati.

but i know i like what i saw.

he smiled sincerely.

sincere enuf to me that if he doesn't fast like he said he would, i wouldn't be mad or frustrated. let alone be angry at him.

ok la. maybeee ade kecewa skitttt

but the fact that he had that small intention to fast like how other muslims are fasting, it would be a good and nice motivation for him in the coming weeks or even years, if it's not tomorrow.

i smiled.

maybe. that was what i hoped.

we paid him, said our thanks, grabbed our bags, and headed our door house.

"Assalamualaikummm"

it's almost a week now.

and i can still hear the sound of us laughing.

taste the sweetness of rambutan and tembikai

and the spicy sambal udang and kari ayam.

remember how Memeng was bullied sbb lmbt loading. haha

remember holding Puteri Alya Maisara in my arms

and don't even know to whom she belonged.

remember the stories we had back in our school years

and not forgetting the latest gossip in town. hehe

remember returning home late and tired

after jalan2 at Dataran Pahlawan.

i can hear the sound of Tomok singing. ohhhh

the al-Haizam's Generation.

our third reunion

on August 7, 2010

pic taken from Mun's fb.

different paths. one destiny.

let's make it work!

it's ok.

do not freak out when you or she makes mistakes. they happen.

just chill and compromise for a better solution.

"a great marriage is not when a perfect couple

comes together.

it is when an imperfect one

learns to enjoy each other's differences."

remember the post of a son and his mother?

yes?

cuz now i understand the whole situation. and why his mother gave

such reaction to me.

im glad i asked.

and i overlooked the part where the son didnt stand for me.

he did. just now.

a son and his mother

yes. the son mentioned above is a friend of mine.

it surprises me how his mother gave a shocking statement to him, about me.

and from there, i realized how selfish people still exist.

but they say being in someone's shoes can help to understand their hard situation. i guess my shoes are big. big enuf for you to understand that they cost you more than one person to fit them.

my whole journey here got me worried every single day. sampai hati cakap mcm tu. i am freakin scared to be exact! would you like to explain things to my parents if something goes wrong? would you like to cover my expenses? did you think you are making the situation normal again by saying that? did you even think about calming me down by saying that?

and you are a parent, for crying out loud!

and dear son. i thought i had your word about this.

smpai hati tak stood up for me.

me? why only now do i have to start talking to him?? hv i not try that before?

yet not one msg replied. not one ym replied.

call? haram.

I am done doing what i've done. dia lupa sape suap dia mkn sblm ni.

my Form6 students suka games rupanya

well, the plan was to get them chillax after submitting the essay last week.

so i prepared them a game.

yea, the infamous charade. never gets old. haha

and all of them were on top of their lungs

guessing and describing.

and my speaking class worked!

*terharu*

terasa di hujung dunia bila mahu putus asa dan memikirkan mereka

yg segan nak cakap English.

and at the end of the class, one student came up to me and asked

"teacher, tumoro kita main game lagi nak?"

yeahh.. of course!

but i kept my cool, and said "we'll see"

:D

ok. so i havent update my blog for a while.

am here. reading others, and try to inspire myself to write as well.

but written nothing.

however, i want to share this line of a song i heard.

not so new now. yet is still played in the radio.

"and no matter where i'm at

girl, you make me wanna sing.

whether a bus or a plane or a car or a train.

no other girls on my brain

and you're the one to blame."

Nothing on You - B.O.B

oh terasa lesbian.

er.. well *ehem*

the point is, sy terasa mahu kembali ke zaman dahulu.

er, x nampak kaitan? xpela.

terkini #1: saya kini ber-braces. next appointment is on august kasi ketat. food? anything yg lembut still. saya x larat nak kunyah mknn keras2 mcm chicken chop pakli, zinger kfc, spicy delux mcd. hari2 safwan swoh makan bubur. takut besi bengkok katanya. ps: bubur x kenyang. sikit pun x. hari2 mcm ni, boleh mendatangkan underweight.

terkini #2: saya prac di Kapar, Klang. skola notty tahap gaban. mengaja sivik Form3, english Form4 dan muet Form6.

terkini #3: observation pertama dah buat pagi tadi (isnin 10.10-10.40 am) markah cantik dan saya hepi. observation kedua? minggu depan. by ramadhan, semua observation habis. ini kalah movie backtoback.

terkini yang paling: saya masih mencari jalan untuk men-tackle hati mainmain Form6. walaupun markah cantik from observation, saya rasa masih banyak improvement perlu buat. Form4? makin hari, semakin sayang mereka. rupanya mereka suka purple. mereka suka saya. dan semakin hari, semakin banyak homework yg mereka siapkan. dan saya hepi.

ini sude terbalik dgn acad. student Form6 rapat dgn acad. tp acad banyak komplen psl budakbudak Form4 nya. seb baik pn rohaya understanding. markah acad pun cantik. xpe acad. if you can find ways to amik hati the Form6, im sure you wont have much prob in handling the Form4 students. acad laki, lagipun. ur voice lantang, im sure they listen to you.

kte nii~

and students! Sir Arshad and I are not a couple.

(tetibe baru sedar yg acad suka merah. byk baju kami kelihatan sedondon)

after many months,

er, well.. since that day,

i've got many questions in my head.

that's why i've been asking ppl here and there.

and everywhere.

and they gave me lots of perspectives.

different perspectives.

questions to him are unanswered, of course.

should i thank him too?

hmm..

he is the one who brings out the me now.

or maybe he is the one who

shoves the me deep inside.

*hoh, another question la plak*

so i guess i should.

thank you. and to others.

okies.

er.. who am i now?

*cengkerik cengkerik*

and hair, u are staying. definitely.

currently im thinking of cutting my hair short.

sometimes the need to start anew urges me to do so.

er.. until then, i like to keep what i have now.

mode :

~:: wedding ::~

our eldest cousin got married recently. that was why i was away.

and OMG her wedding had the same theme colour as mine (well in my mind) :P

red and white on my side.

and (i was thinking that PROBABLY) blue and white on the groom's side.

so, red and blue.

awww...

but she had them anyway.

and it was beautiful~ just as i imagined :)

so here i am. googling thru some pics for our wedding.

well,

i mean..

oh u get what i mean.

not that i have somebody next to me, hehe.

this is not part of the planning :)

nauzubillah

*can i just stick to my wedding fantasy?

plagiarism, is it?