everything.

Okay.

... and everything in between.

I now know what I want 

as graduation present. 

Nope, not asking parents to buy them for me. Nor adik-adik. 

Having everyone during the convocation is already an honour. 

The All-Knowing. The All-Forgiving. Bless my journey here. Cherish the ones I love. Guide me to a bright future. 

Guide him too.

December treats

1. Master in TESOL (Stream B) from The University of Melbourne.

2. Melbourne trip for one week.

3. Sydney trip for another week.

4. Kick-boxing day.





November to-do list.

× cari parking space free yang dekat dan sesuai.

× plan places-to-go for Melbourne trip. Insert juga tempat yang belum pernah pegi.

× biasakan/belajar rules when driving especially in the city. Nanti nak ajar bapak.

× plan juga tentative untuk Sydney kalau-kalau Bais tak buat.

× cari dua kotak untuk pack separuh barang bawak balik Malaysia. Maybe tiga.

× pinjam phone charger kereta dari kak Anis.

× aaaaaaaaa cari baju graduation.

× sediakan duit yang banyak untuk Kick-boxing day. Pandora, DKNY Delicious. Maybe juga jam. Tengok harga berapa dulu.

× jangan lupa English course for non-native speakers. Hujung November.

supaya kata-kata manis awak

halal untuk saya dengar.

:)

the little mission

cooking list

:: curry - ayam, ketam, daging *check*

:: sup - ayam, daging, tulang *check*

:: pizza

:: sambal / masak merah *check*

:: masak kicap / barbecue *check*

:: sayur - bayam, mushroom, kobis *check*

:: nasi lemak

:: bubur

:: rendang

:: nasi goreng *check*

:: mee goreng *check*

:: pasta - bolognese, cream, seafood, chicken, beef *check*

:: dessert - moist cakes, cookies


kena gelak dengan housemate; sebelum datang Melbourne patutnya belajar semua ni dekat rumah. ape pulak belajar masak sebelum balik Malaysia. hehe



hmm. one check at a time. tapi ape lagi nak letak dalam list?

eye opener, in a different way.

My eyes were drawn to 'Doctorate in Islam' when my housemate came back home with this pamphlet from her university and invited me to this debate.

Doctorate in Islam. Whoa. That's good.

Such title. Even for a Christian. I don't think I could reach that phase. I'm not even a hafizah myself. Good on him!

Then I had a second thought. A Doctorate in Islam.

That must have lots of readings. Years to understand Islam.

But how could one possibly learn soo much about Islam, and is still a Christian?

How could one read soo much Hadiths, memorize Quran
and not see the beauty that the verses have?

The beauty that Islam has?

How could one not see that? And to debate which one is better, whoa. That's pretty brave.

Then I see how lucky I am, how grateful I should be. To be born from an Islamic family. To have Islam since birth. And then I see how precious and mahal His hidayah is for us. For all the mankind in this temporary dunya.

You see, Allah is never cruel to His creations; every man is given akal. And in his case as a Christian, wanting to learn about Islam is a chance that Allah has given to actually see Islam. His hidayah for him. But it looks like he chose to believe the other side. It's not like Allah didn't show him anything; he studies the Quran! The one book that has everything in there, the one book that nothing else can contradict. But he chose to deny what he has read all these years. And I believe that there, right there, Allah gave him what he wanted. Just like that. For that, I truly feel sorry for him. Sorry that he missed, or purposely left out all the truths and still do not see what a great man Muhammad (saw) was.

Subhanallah, You are the all-mighty. Please forgive me. Jesus, our Prophet, was great during his time, and Muhammad was great during his time. Peace be upon them both. But it was a really good debate, nonetheless. The twisted points you had may seem like the answer was a clear cut, but Muhammad was never like how you have perceived him. May Allah bless you, Faraz Nomani for standing up for the Muslims and defending Islam.

the little mission

One fine day.

One very fine day. Amin.

The Greatest Planner

It's an awe when you realize the positive side of everything.

When you realize how close Allah is to you to make sure that you are on track. His track. 

I came to Australia having two things in mind; get a Master certificate, and get away from my past and everyone in Malaysia and build myself back from scratch with new strangers in a new surrounding. Simple. 

And He led me to this lady when I touched down. Very down to earth, modest. And I thought 'oke nice to meet you, hope to see you again' was all it was. But one thing brought to another, it's been several months now. And I know hidayah Allah doesn't come often; it's in a blink of the eye. It's whether I see her in a path He made for me or if it's another friend I met in Australia. And I took the first sign.

And it's so beautiful. It amazes me how easy it is to talk to her, and feel like Allah who is 'talking' back. But don't take it the wrong way. What I mean is, I feel that Allah has actually prepared her for me when I wanted to find myself. That He is taking me back onto His path. Questions that were too afraid to ask before, things that were too embarrassed to talk about before, were answered and shared and opened up to create a better me. 

And for that, I am truly thankful to Him, and for this beautiful ukhwah, and may He bless your tender heart to have accepted me for who I was, for who I am now. 

chub chub cheeks and all over

I'd blame the cold winter,

And the daily nasi Arab with kambing during Ramadhan,

And the midnight consumptions,

For all the marvellous, amazing food

And making me all puffed up.

Now I have to find a way to get back in shape before I head back to Malaysia.

Chubby Hajar. Cheers.

*picture is from WeHeartIt*

good looking out

I like the way you think and how you see things around you :) 

Thank you, cuzzie. I miss talking to you. 

self reminder

A lot to be thankful for.

Be grateful for.

Realize that sweaty hands is not a big deal. He won't mind even if he's not comfortable with it.

Realize that tak reti masak is nothing. Skills can be developed over time.

Just realize that perfection doesn't exist. Stop worrying about your flaws. If they can overlook them and be cool about it, you can too.

You should. Other people don't have this kind of dugaan. You do, and it should make you love yourself.

startled

i'd love to start again.

i don't know how to tell you that.

Eid Mubarak

rindu ibu. rindu bapak. 

rindu adik-adik.

an Aussie girl

Semester 1, 2013 - Melbourne University

The University of Sydney

The Australian National University

2013's new faces

Snowboarding - Mt Buller

Sydney Opera House, Harbour Bridge, Bais - Sydney

Parliament House - Canberra

Not a single day that I am not thankful to Allah for giving me these great opportunities and experiences in this foreign yet beautiful land. Thankful to meet such lovely and sweet people who open my eyes and heart to the world around me. Thankful to my parents and adik-adik who endlessly show how much they mean to me, and I them. May He show me the path that will always lead me to Him, and His forever jannah. Ameen.

Have you ever had a bad dream

A dream so dark, so horrible

You actually force yourself to open your eyes and wake up from your sleep.

Frowning eyebrows, wrinkled forehead, short breaths. Panicked. Scared.

My dream made me feel that way. Twice in three weeks. So bad, that I sincerely hope and pray that Allah removes me from dunya before kiamat. Pray that my loved ones are saved as well.

Oh Allah, do prepare me and my family for the hereafter. Save my friends too.

dejavu.

it actually reminds me of our text books in Pn Hamidah's class.

but i remember liking his art on our books.

the feeling was beautiful. what he did was beautiful. 

ah i was in love back then. 

yang Maha Penyayang

i kept saying Aminn and Alhamdulillah. 

besar kan kuasa Allah. 

Allah bukakkan hati yang Dia nak saja. 

hidayah tak turun bergolek. kita kena rujuk dan cari. 

dan Allah memberi pada yang mencari 

sebab banyak mana kita sayang dia, Allah lebih lagi.

beruntung awak, Bean. 

dari jauh, saya bangga dengan langkah pertama awak.

saya tak boleh bayangkan struggle awak, tapi sungguh saya bangga. 

awak thoughtful. 

otai-otai pun awak thoughtful. 

saya tau bunga tu mahal. 

so saya tanak sedih lagi. 

and i did go left. Allah led me there. 

and thank you haziq. 

25 things

1. ia menakjubkan bila dapat melihat empat pengguna jalan iaitu kereta, pejalan kaki, tram dan penunggang basikal boleh berkongsi 2 lane di jalan raya. bukan sahaja semua actually slow down dan berhenti ketika lampu kuning, lebih menakjubkan bila locals rely on trams untuk pergi kerja. ya, nampaknya saya compare situasi ini dengan insan yang berebut empat lane di jalan raya Kuala Lumpur, ketidak cekapan komuter KTM dan press-minyak-kuat-kuat-bila-kuning di Malaysia. ouch, terasa.

2. saya belum pernah nampak motor kapcai di Melbourne. kenderaan dua tayar cumalah basikal dan motor besar berkuasa besar. tempat memakir disediakan untuk basikal dan kereta dan lori dan van dan seangkatanya. motor besar memakir dengan gah di atas pedestrian walk, selalunya sebelah tiang lampu.

3. saya hentikan keinginan berbelanja saya di malls dan kedai-kedai makan untuk memberi laluan pada trips dan tours. perlakuan drastik ini amat payah untuk tempuhi, tapi saya percaya saya masih boleh berbelanja di Malaysia. jauh di sudut hati, saya harap Allah ampuni saya kerana memasang niat sebegini.

4. harga cappuccino Starbucks dalam tumbler saya sama harga dengan regular cappuccino dari cafe faculty. saya pilih Starbucks.

5. saya terlepas konsert Jason Mraz di awal ketibaan saya, 25 March 2013. kelas telah pun bermula dua minggu, tapi saya rasa rugi tak pegi. ada insan nak jual tiket bagus dengan harga murah, dan saya hampir nak beli. tapi insan lain lebih membuat keputusan dari saya, dan saya kecewa. terduduk saya di cafe faculty, tapi saya ikhlaskan hati untuk redha.

6. apartment saya tengah-tengah bandar Melbourne. bangunan sebelah kiri apartment saya ialah Melbourne Central, a combination of KLCC dan KL Sentral di Malaysia. depan apartment saya ialah Victoria State Library. Starbucks dan SushiSushi? di bangunan sebelah kanan apartment saya.

7. memandangkan Melbourne Central cuma sekangkang kera, pub dan club juga sekangkang kera. saya taknak keluar rumah pada jumaat malam dan sabtu malam sebab mereka lelaki dan perempuan hang around mabuk-mabuk. segala nyanyian sumbang dan botol-botol pecah juga kedengaran sekitar jam 12 hingga 3 pagi. pernah juga saya beranikan diri untuk keluar dan berjalan-jalan sehingga jam 9 malam, dan suasananya tidaklah seburuk yang disangka.

8. di kesejukan musim autumn, saya insan paling bahagia melihat daun-daun berguguran di taman. musim kegemaran. saya bersyukur.

9. selepas 3 ke 4 jam di depan laptop menghadap assignment, saya bersiap, turun bawah menjamah fries panas-panas di Lord of the Fries, atau kemanisan crepe di Harajuku Crepe, atau pancake and ice-cream di The Pancake Parlour, patah balik ke assignment dan teruskan kerja. student life in the city amat manis.

10. menarik bila dapat share first-hand experience mengenai different language dan kinds of assessment bersama the locals,  China Chinese, Irish, Spanish, Koreans, Canada. luas pengalaman.

11. selepas berbual dengan ayahanda, baru saya perasan saya tapenah berkaki ayam di dalam rumah sejak tiba di February. kaki saya berstokin sentiasa.

12. ayahanda. hmm. "aisya, do you enjoy yourself there?" ayahanda memandang saya di Skype dengan penuh ikhlas, dan saya tahu jawapan yang dicari bukanlah merujuk pada study saya semata. dia mencari jawapan yang reflect perasaan dia bila dia study di UK sebelum dan selepas kahwin dengan ibu. dan perasaan itulah yang disampaikan dari hati. ya, saya in love dengan Melbourne. study dan city.

13. tiga kelas dalam semester pertama; Alan panggil saya Siti, Margaret panggil saya Hajar, Lynda panggil saya Aisyah. i feel blessed.

14. saya belajar memasak dari internet. pasta dan macaroni semuanya. nasi goreng tak reti buat.

15. jika saya pulang ke Malaysia, saya tidak tahu rumah mana yg pertama yg saya akan singgah. saya masih belum susun jawapan jika saya ditanya "So, best tak Australia?"

16. mission dan janji dengan afiqah sudah half-way through. hajar bagus.

17. belum jumpa makanan sepinggan murah-murah. beruntung jika dapat cari kedai yang menjual makanan 8 dollars. semua makanan di kedai, termasuklah nasi sepinggan bersama 2 lauk beranggaran 11 - 15 dollars. belum air minuman dalam 4 dollars.

18. ada sesuatu tentang small space in high-rise building bersama tersayang yang buat saya suka tentang tinggal di apartment. saya tak tau apa perasaan itu sebenarnya, tapi saya dapat merasa perasaan itu. no, saya masih belum kahwin haha.

19. pertama kali pegi gig dan masuk pub suatu malam. terasa berdosa. tapi niat saya untuk enjoy the music, maka itulah yang saya buat. walaupun matsaleh hensem beramah mesra dan berbual dengan saya tidak termasuk dalam list, cuma itu sahaja perkara extra yang saya buat.

20. benar terasa nikmat pahala bila menatap wajah ibu. biarpun sekejap berjumpa di Adelaide, biarpun gambar pecah-pecah bila ber-Skype.

21. angan-angan untuk menetap dan berkeluarga di sini masih belum berganjak. tapi ayahanda pasti merasakan impian itu merepek.

22. saya tidak ramah. tapi housemates saya superb. marvelous. mereka oke jika saya tidak berbual dengan mereka, atau jika saya moody di pagi hari. tidak seperti di Malaysia dimana ... em abaikan mereka. mari.

23. dua perkara yang saya belanja lebih seratus dollars adalah handbag Guess dan autumn/winter coat idaman. tidak seperti kebanyakkan barang-barang lain, dua perkara ini saya tidak bercadang untuk jual kepada juniors bila saya pulang ke Malaysia.

24. saya was-was bila ramai mengatakan 'Melbourne is a safe city. You'll enjoy yourself there'. obvious yang saya membayangkan bandar-bandar besar yang terdapat di Malaysia. ketahuilah yang sudah empat bulan di sini, dan saya masih belum dengar pekikkan 'tolong' di city atau kereta berlanggaran di jalan raya atau tram tergelek pejalan kaki atau cerita kes-kes ragut dari seniors yang tinggal lebih enam tahun di sini. tidak dinafikan bahawa Melbourne dan Australia adalah tempat yang selamat seperti yang diceritakan semua. namun tidak seperti di Malaysia, saya mengikuti local news Aussie dan ternyata mereka lebih mengetahui kawasan sunyi di luar city yang dikenali 'suburbs'. tidaklah sekerap kes-kes di Malaysia, tapi ia menakutkan saya.

25. why 25? because 25 cantik dan is a favourite number.

it has truly been a pleasure

Alan

Margaret

Lynda

  

thank you. it was such a wonderful and insightful semester.

take me back into your arms

March babies in Melbourne

bonda in Adelaide

father always knows our favourite chocolate. 

adinda knows her kakak's favourite Choc Indulgence. 

sweet wishes from Ara and Bais. 

and I flew just to see Adelaide and bonda. 

one of the most beautiful rewards just by seeing her face. 

"dah, dah Aisya" she smiled. 

"ibu tau Aisya sayang ibu. Ibu pun sayang Aisya. We all love you."

Oh Allah, rindu is such a strong word. 

but I do. 

my Melbourne

 

 

  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

They say "a picture is worth a thousand word".  

I'd say that each has more. 

Jom.

rindu gelagat mereka masa mengajar dalam kelas

Batch ke-4

reminder, reminder.

pre #4

you are coming with me.

leggo!

my fear

When I was a little girl, I've always wanted to be married to a man like my dad.

Firm. Loyal. Family-first man.

That was what I see in him back then.

When I was a teenager, I've always reminded myself not to find a man with certain characters like dad's.

Cold. Distant. Hot-tempered.

*guilty as charged* That was how I see him back then.

You see, becoming a young lady myself now, I see that I am supposed to possess 'lady' characters.

Gentle. Polite. Good with words.

And good gracious, I don't have any of those characters!

I notice that I am becoming more like how father used to be than I wanted to. Rough. Distant and cold. I can hardly accept people's words. I am ... ... distant.

In many ways, it benefits me a lot. It actually makes me feel good. It gives that relief because I have marked my point. That's it. Few minutes after, I realize that people are not smiling anymore. And the more I realize that it's not good for them in any way.

I knew how they feel 15 years ago. I didn't like it then, I don't like it now. And I don't want to be like that. And if I don't want to see it from other people, why am I becoming one?

chin up. keep your cool.

via 9GAG

comel adha bahasakan 'ibu' :)

pre #3

amin.

via 9GAG