me being me.
a heart-felt one.
a gratitude.
yes, only Allah knows how thankful i am these past few days.
i can't even share it with ibu. nor with girlfriends.
at least not verbally or face-to-face.
these things don't really come easy.
so i let it out here.
2010 was the roughest year i had to go thru.
i don't even know if girlfriends could see it.
i was head over heels for him, pretty obvious that year before.
he was all i see.
having that lost, i lost myself as well.
i missed him smiling to me.
i missed talking to him.
i missed going out with him.
i missed seeing him laughing and be happy.
u see, i missed everything related to him.
everything.
i was too afraid to look at him,
to look at his hatred towards me.
to look at his anger.
his silence killed me. day by day.
being so close, yet so far.
i prayed everyday that things could run smooth,
and that i was strong enough to face the days. to face him.
things have changed now.
the better change.
i don't know if i still fall for him.
but i do like what i have now.
where i am now.
far, yet close.
tanak far. bole x?
whyy am i rambling in the morning? haiyaa
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