maternal instinct.

he has this wall in him, or maybe built it.
blocking his feelings towards others.
something u did dulu must have hurt him a lot.

u love him. he needs help and u'll always be there for him. it is love.
facebook sume. it's easy to forgive his anger all the time becuz u love him.
but it takes just one very small mistake from u to make him
spark back everything u did to him in the past.

he has not forgiven u, can u see that. that's why the wall is there. 

he doesn't want to deal with feelings anymore towards others or even u.
ur love x berbalas here. 

i held back my tears. ibu usap my dahi. i already know all that. 
the time when he cried on the phone flashed in my head when we almost broke up. 

stop this, aisya. stop whatever u have for him.
i cannot blame him for leading u on.
u are now in this dream that he might come back.
dia dah tentu if the feeling is there.
but it has been long. so stop this.

take a break away from him. cemana dia nak forgive if u always appear.
he still sees u dgn marah yg belum cool off. so take a break.
and i don't mean not seeing him ke apa.
get away. stop whatever u have now with him. make space.
come back when u are ready and steady. Allah akan lead u back to him,
and him to u. He wants u to be happy. but trust me dah takde apa2 da ni.
so stop ur feeling. mungkin ur real jodoh Allah delay because of this.
pray that u get surrounded by new acquaintance, who will become ur friend
and later on ur lover. so stop.