rindu. tau tak rindu?

balik malaysia cepat. nak peluk.

hadiah

Awak, awak ingat saya tak rasa apa yang awak rasa? Saya pun tak nak rasa ni lama-lama.




Happy birthday, hajar aisyah.

hurt

it doesn't hurt to say i love you.

it only hurts when you don't mean it.





how scary is that?

YouTube: The Theory Of Everything (2014)

kerja da siap, final exam papers da ready

let me be a tad mushy, just for a little while

it is, after all, my favourite month of the year

heart to heart

Bais and I were gardening at that time. 

Ibu too; she left soon after and went inside. Dah maghrib ni, I thought. 

"Akak ..." he called me after a while, almost like a whisper to my ears. 

"Ape perasaan akak masa akak fail paper kat Melbourne hari tu?" 

I paused. Weird, I thought, for him to ask personal question like that. 

Perasaan. 

It's not like him to know what or how I feel, I can assure you that. Hehe. 

So I didn't know if I should give a personal answer or make a joke out of it. 

Tangan still cabut rumput, I waited for his giggle at the end of his question. 

And because we were not facing each other, I tried to sense his smile or even a smirk when he asked. 

But nothing was there. 

So I went with my first instinct. I told him things I'd never said before. 

And I knew why he wanted to know this. I understood why he asked. 

And I was talking, it felt like a part of me is being exposed. 

Cliche, I thought. Of course it would feel that way. So I kept on explaining. 

Then, I could feel something that I'd never felt before. 

I felt nervous talking to him. He was quiet, though. I couldn't see him, but I could hear his hands had slowed down. There were less movement. He was into his own thoughts, taking my words one by one, digesting them. 

You can imagine me stuttering, too cautious with my words. I had never talked to him like this before. He had never paid attention like this before. 

But deep down, I was sincere. Allah has given me back my long 'lost' brother, and I truly appreciate the new him.

and how I love him even more. 

marah bukan tanda benci

Let me be a tad mushy tonight.


People pass this on for generations.
Saying that marah itu tanda sayang.
I don't get it.
Not then. Not even now.
At least not till 1 hour ago.

"Saya marah sebab benda tak kena tempat. Marah saya bukan tanda benci."

He said.

And I loved the words. I've never heard of it before. And it made me fully understand the previously mentioned cliché.

I realise now, that Allah wants this to work. That He wants 'us' to work. That's why He sent those words through you, it's calmed me down. A bit.

Thank you for coming into my life. I look forward to learning more from and about you.


Nak letak symbol jap.

♡

Okay there.

I'm in love with The Loaf
and everything we had the other day.
With what I felt that day.
With the way you made me feel that day.
Betul. Allah pinjamkan rasa ini untuk saya hari itu, melalui awak.
Moga Allah izinkan saya untuk simpan rasa ini, dan memayungi awak dengan kasihNya sentiasa.

Let's go again some time.